Two years ago, I came to Fortaleza, Brazil with a team of missionaries traveling through all the countries in Central and South America preaching the Gospel and loving people. I did not know I had met my future here. After staying in Fortaleza for 10 days, I left for the Amazon jungle in Manaus. I did not know my future had changed. God knew, but I didn't know. It was so subtle, that I could not possibly understand that my entire life had changed..
I realize more and more why it's so important to trust in God in everything I do. At times, we all start leaning on our own understanding. When we do this, we start trying to control things. We make plans that take God out of the equation. We want to make things possible for us to see and therefor easy to achieve. I have lived the possible life before. It was always missing something, Jesus.
He has not created us to live the possible life, but the impossible life.
In a world where humanism is lifted up so much, we need to live the impossible life. It brings us to Jesus. I love the song "Blinded", by Jason Upton. One part of the song says, "I don't know where I'm going, more and more each day it's becoming just alright with me. When I know, where I'm going, my eyes keep me from trusting Thee. I want to trust you. It's the purest worship." That is so true. Every time I hear those words, it takes me in a deep worship of Him.
"Blinded" by Jason Upton. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZwaVDAOK8o
If I had strived for something I so dearly wanted in my life, to be in love, I could have missed Juliana. If I hadn't made it a priority in my life to be totally be led by Him, even if it took me away from what I wanted for my life, I could have missed Juliana. I didn't know this was the woman God had for me when I first met her. Two years later, and many opportunities to take me in a different direction then what God had for me, I said one word to her in a FB message, "photogenic", and it changed everything. You don't always know your life has changed. It's not always apparent. It wasn't for me two years ago. My experience has encouraged me to realize everyday, the impossible life is the best.
I don't live a life of "what if's" anymore. You don't have any when you are good with not knowing where you are going, as Jason Upton so beautifully put it in his song. I encourage everyone who is on this beautiful road of "not knowing where I'm going" to continue on. It's the right road. It's a beautiful road because it's the one Jesus is on. Be patient in life and with Pappa. His timing is perfect.